Blissful Belle

Be Happy, Feel Beautiful

How To: Bounce Back


If you’ve ever been devastated by the loss of a family member or friend, saddened by the end of a relationship or friendship, or just stressed and disappointed by the hard daily events we are all faced with, then you know that getting back up is a difficult process. Difficult, yes, but it is by no means impossible. Here are a few things you can try to help put that spring back in your step.

 Acceptance

Whether you’re trying to overcome a break-up or just daily stress, the first thing you must do is accept your situation. Whether you are in an uncertain situation such as waiting to hear back from a job interview or a finite situation such as the end of a relationship, you must accept your present situation just as it is. No matter how much you worry, complain, or stress about a situation, none of that will produce change. Therefore, you can release yourself from feeling worry, stress, guilt, annoyance, and so on because you have control of that. Once you’ve accepted the present moment in your life; however it may be, you can choose not to worry, for example, because you now know that worrying will not lessen the amount of time you must wait to hear back from a job interview, there’s no use in focusing your attention on it. Just know that “this, too, will pass,” according to the Buddha, meaning whatever you are forced to deal with in your life, it will eventually pass – either the situation will come to an end, change, or you can change it with action.

Nonresistance

With acceptance comes nonresistance. The more you fight or resist a situation, the more it strengthens and persists. The only way to truly overcome any difficult issue in your life is to just accept it and become present in the moment. The way to do this is to focus on your breathing, according to Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth. By focusing all of your attention on your breathing, and feeling each breath fill your body, the noise floating around in your head telling you to stress, to worry, or to be continually upset will drown out because the two cannot coexist. If you practice just breathing three times a day, you’ll eventually start to feel more alive and find peace and soon you’ll be able to make peace with your situation, however difficult it may be.

On the Defensive

The truth needs no defense, according to Tolle. So if you are in a situation, such as an argument with a friend, which is hurting your friendship, if you just accept the fact that the truth needs no defense, you no longer have to fight about it. Whatever you believe to be true, and whatever your friend believes to be true may contradict and that’s just the way life is. Don’t force your beliefs onto others. You must accept the differences in other people, and not worry about having to always defend your position. What about uncontrollable situations? Well, if you are faced with someone calling you a name or trying to hurt you emotionally or physically, you have to realize that the person doing the hurting must have gone through something to make them the way they are. That’s not an excuse, but once you realize that, you can rise above it and just be courteous. Killing your enemy with kindness and understanding is the best method to dealing with unwanted situations.

Right Action

After having accepted your situation for whatever it may be, such as being single or having to study for a big exam, you can take the actions you need to. You don’t have to worry or stress any longer, you can just do what you have to do in any given situation. The only way to ensure true change is to create it yourself. All of the useless reactions, such as worrying, fear, stress and complaining, will no longer control your life once you realize that they are just part of your ego. You don’t need to react negatively to a situation because you can act positively instead. It’s a choice. By being and staying positive, you can bring happiness into your life and overcome your deepest struggles.


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This entry was posted on July 2, 2011 by in How-to, Savvy Belle and tagged , , , , .
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