Blissful Belle

Be Happy, Feel Beautiful

Staying True to Yourself in a Relationship

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.

          -Carrie Bradshaw

How much change does one have to make to themselves in order to have a successful relationship? The answer isn’t  a simple one and this is a question that will probably never be truly answered. There is a fine line between compromise and completely hanging who you are in order to have someone love you. This line must never disappear because once it  does, so will the true you.

Relationships can be amazing. Having someone there you can always talk to and rely on is a great feeling.  However, when entering a relationship you must be confident enough in yourself to remain true to who you are. There is always room for a little bit of compromise in a relationship. Remember, no one is perfect and with the combination of two imperfect people there is always going to be a little chaos.

Compromise is one matter, but changing for your boyfriend is another. When you have a set of morals that is being  challenged by someone that claims to love you; stick up for yourself. If he really loves you he will understand. It’s time to question if it’s really worth it if you feel the need to change who you are or when you have to completely transform your social life to make a relationship work.

A big problem girls seem to face when in a relationship is time management between their boy friend and best friend. There are so many stories about a best friend who complains about losing time with their friend when the said friend gets a boyfriend. They start to become concerned that their friend isn’t the same person they used to be. When your friend shares this complaint with you, listen to them. If your best friend thinks that you aren’t the same, then it’s time to take a step back and check yourself. No one wants to be around that girl who acts differently because of a guy. Not evaluating the situation could cause you to not only lose yourself, but also to lose your best friend. A guy is a guy and yes they are special and great, but there are plenty of them. You have ONE best friend and if you start losing who you are, it’s just a matter of time before you lose your BFF too. You must remember to spend time with your best friend in a one on one setting. There is nothing more annoying then planning a girl’s day and having a boyfriend show up unexpectedly.

The other issue with losing yourself in the relationship is that your boyfriend may not care for the new you either and you may be heading straight for a breakup. Relationships can make us all a little crazy, but don’t become too crazy. Girls become jealous, clingy and controlling. Ladies, none of those qualities are attractive. A guy dates you because he likes you the way you are. Don’t become what you think he wants you to become.

Don’t stop doing the things you love just because you’re in love. Being selfish every now and then is healthy. Yes, you should both do things for each other and be there for one another, but not all of the time. All of your time shouldn’t be taken up by him. Love can be blind, but if you’re a smart, confident girl you will see right through it all. When a relationship becomes an obsession it’s time for some serious soul searching.

Some relationships are worth fighting for, but the one relationship above all others worth fighting for is the relationship that you have with yourself. As cheesy as it sounds, love yourself always. If you can’t love who you are, you will never be able to find someone who loves you for you. Never think that you aren’t good enough for someone and never settle for less. There is someone out there that will find you absolutely amazing.


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